intro- trying for patience

Hi there- I will call myself A- I have an amazing husband that we will call C- and a precious yorkie- Ava! We want to be parents- we have been wanting to for a really long time and I want a place of refuge- a place where I can journal my feelings… I don’t care if anybody even reads this- it doesn’t matter to me. It seems like nobody understands… my friends tell me to stop talking about it- solely so I will “relax”- when really I NEED to talk about it- I NEED to be a mom… I’m tired of feeling guilty for feeling this way. It is obviously a very normal way to feel- to feel miserable and incompetent- other people say that they feel that way too. I never thought this would happen to me- I thought this only happened in movies- or to “other” people. I’m tired of wondering, questioning, screaming, crying, oh yeah…and I’m SOOO tired of “trying to RELAX”- I can’t freaking relax people- I TRY trust me- I TRY! I really like to drink- that is a subject I will approach at another time. WARNING- there will be NO filters on this blog! So- as I was saying I really like to drink- I like to sit on my porch with my husband and have a glass or two of wine in the afternoons- I am SICK of feeling guilty about doing such. I’m tired of spending 2 weeks without a glass of wine- only to find out that there was absolutely NO reason that I shouldn’t have. I have spent many a football game, girls trip, and wedding without my precious glass of wine- only to end up with a BFN- EVERY freaking time. AHHH- if you are in my shoes and a small rant every now and then while still looking for the good in every situation- knowing that GOD has a plan- then you might like to read this blog- I am not going to be shy- I promise!